Grief sUpport
We should probably talk if you've experienced significant grief and loss(es) in your circle. My clients generally have been feeling stressed, unfocused, overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, depressed. Maybe they feel like they're slipping at work or at school and irritable with other people, withdrawing socially
or feeling isolated and like they don't have a lot of support. They often feel misunderstood.
The clients who work with me tend to be what I call the "Strong Ones," the people who everybody else turn to for support or help. But then, who do THEY go to when they need something? They're dealing with the "what-if's," and "if-only's", fatigue, anger, regret, fear, sadness, feeling stuck and maybe resentments. They're told--and even believe--that they should be able to handle things on their own and "get over it." What they want is to feel peaceful, calm, clear-headed, more in control of their own life, and more connected.
I specialize in helping adults facing bereavement and feeling overwhelmed by life changes.
When you're grieving, it can be all-consuming and confusing. Sometimes we don't even realize we're grieving until someone points it out to us. There are differences between grief and depression: in grief, you may even feel happy moments (though you may feel guilty about them). We all need supportive people in our lives, so no wonder it hurts so much when others don't/can't support us in the way we need. It's hard to admit, but sometimes trying to DIY is just not going to work. I know why you're here -- you feel like you "should be better by now." Or maybe you just are being told that in so many ways by others. You never know when you might lose someone/something important to you and you can't really prepare for it entirely.
I've interned and worked at different hospices, worked with 2 different multi-location funeral homes in different states, and been in private practice specializing in grief and loss for many years.
My book “Everyday Life and Loss: A Grief Workbook” is available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Life-Loss-Grief-Workbook-ebook/dp/B0CMC4TC8P?ref_=ast_author_mpb
Grief Coaching vs. Grief Counseling/Therapy
You’re ready for grief coaching if...
Coaching tends to be future oriented, may be shorter term than counseling, and for a predetermined length of time. Coaches don’t diagnose or treat mental health disorders, listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Coaching generally isn’t billable to insurance. There’s no collaboration between other health care providers. Coaching is about helping the client create a plan to take actions to move forward in their lives and goals.
If you’re experiencing deep trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), severe depression, psychosis (loss of contact with reality), thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or threats to self or others, you’re better suited for therapy or crisis counseling.
Coaching clients need to have a baseline level of day-to-day functioning. If you’re in acute (early) grief, within the first year to two years after death/s, and/or have experienced unexpected sudden, traumatic death/s (homicide, suicide, accident, natural disaster, heart attack, missing person, etc.), you’re more likely suited for counseling than coaching.
If you're not experiencing mental health problems such as described above, coaching may be appropriate.
Everyone wants to feel listened to and understood, yet it's paramount in grief--having a place to share your story in a way that you're believed and heard. A lot of times, people are shut down in that process, either because the people around them are grieving themselves and don't want to be triggered, or maybe it's a disenfranchised type of loss that isn't recognized as "valid" by society, or for a lot of different reasons.
Allowing people to be heard and to share their story and experience, and thus be able to work toward their own meaning is so important. Your relationships with others and with yourself is changing. That is inevitable, though you have more control than you may think that you do. I can help you to tap into that and to leverage your resources.
When clients first contact me, these are things I often hear from them:
-"I feel stuck. I'd like to have a purpose, to feel fulfilled in life."
-"I don't really know what I want now."
-"I feel sort of hopeless. I'd like to feel happy and serene."
-"I want to go forward, but I feel stuck."
-"I'm usually the strong one. I don't want to look vulnerable or feel like a whiner."
I work with people who are lifelong learners. They're active in their grief. They're determined, keep moving forward, keep getting back up and trying. They're curious, too. They ask themselves "what's next for me?" They used to feel like they had forward momentum. However, currently, they may feel stuck and overwhelmed.
If you (or someone you know) are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and like you're stuck and would instead like to have a plan, feel more grounded, more connected to others and to regain control of your life following transitions and loss, please contact me.
You’re a fit for grief counseling/therapy if...
Therapists look at past and present patterns, and can diagnose, assess and treat mental health disorders that are included in the DSM. Therapy may be billable by insurance. It tends to be open-ended in terms of length of time, number of sessions, and other limitations which may be dictated by insurance, including the requirement of a mental health diagnosis. Therapists may collaborate with other health care professionals i.e. primary care doctor, psychiatrist, etc. regarding a patient/client’s mental health care planning. Therapy aims to help patients/clients gain insights into their problems, and can be long-term.
If you're not able to get out of bed in the morning, not showering or bathing, neglecting self-care, abusing drugs or alcohol, or feeling like you want to actually die, you’re more likely in need of counseling or even crisis intervention. Basically, if there’s a high level of emotional distress, you should start with counseling/therapy.
** Please contact 988 which is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) or contact 911 if you’re having thoughts or intentions of harming yourself in any way**
Newsletter
Sign up for coaching tips, events, and more.